Gingerbread Man
by BEN-Beyond the Elusive Nomads
Summary: Sometimes, no matter how much you try, you still lose. Written for AU Bingo on LJ.


**Title:** Gingerbread Man  
**Prompt:**Other: Dystopia  
**Medium:** Fic  
**Rating**: R  
**Warnings:**Violence, Adult Language

**Summary:**Sometimes, no matter how much you try, you still lose.

It had been years since hell had been brought to earth – literally. Buffy had been just seconds too late, but even that second was more then enough. Dawn saw what would happen and stopped her, pushing her sister aside as she lunged at the glowing portal and sealing her fate. At first Buffy was hysterical, unable to accept that her baby sister had died to save the world she technically didn't even belong to. Then she began to realize why her sister had done it.

Being the Key had given her some insight into the world that Buffy was previously oblivious too – Dawn could see things that other people couldn't. She knew that Spike was a good man with a bad past. She knew that Xander was loyal to a fault. She knew that Tara was the epitome of goodness with not a single mean bone in her body. She also knew that the portal had caused just enough damage, and that not just any Slayer could deal with it. Faith couldn't deal with it. Only Buffy could do what needed to be done.

And so now she stood in the middle of the ruins of L.A., a familiar bleached vampire at her side as they tried to push their emotions down. Tears were clogging Buffy's throat – no matter how many towns she saw ravaged, no matter how many dead bodies, it always hit her just as hard.

"I can't believe Angelus would be so stupid." Buffy murmured.

"He already tried to end the world once." Spike responded as he took a drag of his cigarette, "Why not one more time?"

"He had a soul." Buffy continued, rubbing her suddenly chilled arms, "He had a soul, and he still unleashed hell on everyone. How many people do you think he got killed? A hundred? Two? A thousand?"

"Don't think we'll ever really know for sure." Spike responded, "Can't just walk into the L.A.P.D. and ask for the info. We're dead, remember?"

Buffy frowned at the thought. "You would think after being alive for hundreds of years I would be used to this."

"You never get use to this as long as you have a soul." Spike explained, taking another drag before flicking the cig to the ground and stomping it out, "It's not something that gets easier. It gets a bit more bearable, but never easier."

There was nothing but silence between the two as the observed the destruction. The sun was peaking out over the horizon, but Spike was safe for now. Their hotel wasn't too far off. Well, what remained of it anyway.

"I wonder what made me different." Buffy finally asked. "Why did I live so long? Why hasn't any other Slayer stayed alive?"

"Death Wish." Spike said bluntly, "Thought we went over this, pet."

"We did, I know. But I've…it's occurred to me before. I almost died thousands of times. What kept me from giving in? why am I the only one that lived long enough to realize the Slayer is immortal?"

"Cuz you got somethin' worth livin' for." Spike explained, reaching out a hand to gently hold hers and give it a soft squeeze, "First Slayer 've heard of to live past twenty five. Then you jus' stopped. Stopped growin', stopped changin'."

"What I lived for died long ago." Buffy murmured, "Dawn, Giles, Willow, Xander, Anya, Tara. They're all dead – gone. You're the only one I have left, Spike. Not even the world is here for me, now."

"The world was the first to go." Spike said with a wry smile, "Wha' does that tell you about me, then?"

"That you're an idiot?" Buffy managed to quip fondly, giving his hand a squeeze, "But you're my idiot."

"That I am." Spike agreed, "C'mon, pet. We've gotta run again. Suns gonna catch us soon."

"We always run." Buffy murmured with a sigh before she turned and began walking away, keeping Spike's hand firmly clasped in hers, "We keep running as fast as we can, but death always follows." A wry smile, "Like the gingerbread man."

"Run, run as fast as you can, you can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man." Spike recited, "Didn't he get caught in the end?"

Buffy frowned and scrunched up her nose, before shaking her head, "Nah. We aren't going to get caught. We're too smart for that."

Spike looked at her with love in his eyes and gently kissed the back of her hand. "Never gonna leave you, Buffy." He promised, "Never."

"I know." Buffy responded with a smile, "I know."


End file.
